Sorry, Paula.
January 28, 2009
Parker and I are just doing some channel surfing while Bailey finishes up her nap. I stop on the Food Network and see a Super Bowl Food special where Paula Dean is cooking some amaaaaazing looking hot wings with her two adult sons. Parker takes a moment and then proclaims, “Mom, those mans are helping her cook because she is just too old.”
HAHA! (and poor, old Paula)
Sweet Dreams
January 24, 2009
Just a little peek at our nightly routine. I really, really love my boys.
For Heaven’s Sake
January 9, 2009
Oh Parker. Dear, sweet, Parker. There are days when you simply drive me batty. But, just when I think that you have driven me to the very brink of frustrated insanity – you pull out something so ridiculously innocent and cute that I can’t help but want to plant fat kisses all over those chubby kid cheeks.
If you know the lad, you know he’s a talker. And an asker. We have the same roundabout conversations over and over, day after day. Once he gets going, bless his heart, he just can’t seem to shut down his sweet, stuttering stammer. Now, I am delighted that he has taken such a precocious interest in football. He can dazzle strangers with his talk of teams, players, positions, and uniforms. It is admittedly adorable that he begs to wear his Texans jerseys every stinking day. I am amazed at his understanding of downs, interceptions, and fumbles. But at times, a mama can only take so much.
In the car yesterday, I had just about reached my limit. I had been repeatedly scolded for (truthfully) answering “I don’t know” to too many of his inane and obscure football questions, and I wasn’t sure if I could take another moment of pig skin musings.
“Mom, I fink the Cinciati (sic) Bengals are going to play the Timba Bay Bucaneers on Monday Night Football tonight?”
“Today is Wednesday, Parker.”
“No, I fink it’s Monday Night Football.”
“OK, whatever, baby.”
“Is the Cardinals a football team?”
“No, Parker, they are a baseball team.”
“No Mom, they are a college football team.”
“Oh. OK Parker, you’re right.” (I mean, seriously?!? How does he know these things??)
“Mom, I fink the Cardinals are from the Louisville college.”
“OK, Parker.”
“No, Mom, the Cardinals are a football team. For college. Not professional. They play defense and Rutgers plays offense.”
“OK, Parker.” (blood pressure elevating slightly)
“Does the Cardinals play defense?”
“They play both, Parker.”
“No, Mom, I fink they play just the defense.”
“OK, Parker.” (breathe Janica breathe Janica breathe…)
“No, Mom -”
“Parker!” (deep breath) “Parker, my ears need a little break for a minute, OK?”
“OK, Mom.”
-a moment’s pause-
“Mom?”
“Yes?” (through clenched teeth)
“Is heaven a city?”
Oh, to be four years old. It is a big, confusing world out there. I suppose I should be thankful that football is relatively straightforward by comparison…
All I Want for Christmas
December 21, 2008
Finally, finally, finally! After months of hoping and wishing and begging and explicitly instructing any Santa who would listen…Parker got his “real” Texans helmet yesterday. Thank you, Nana and Icky! They complement his Texans jersey…and Texans pants…and Texans football…and shoulder pads…very, very nicely.
Surprise!
December 19, 2008
I thought Wednesday night would never get here!
My in-laws have been bummed. Matt’s brother, David, and his lovely wife, Steffi, live in London and so we just don’t get to see them nearly as often as we’d like. Usually, they are able to visit at Christmastime, but a couple months ago, David broke the news to his mother that they just weren’t going to be able to make it. They were only going to be able to go to Germany to visit Steffi’s family, and a US trip just wasn’t going to happen. Needless to say, we were all disappointed.
Matt and I’s disappointment did not last long, however, because David let us in on his little plan…he and Steffi were planning to come after all, but it was going to be a surprise for John and Nancy. Fantastically sneaky. Just how I like it.
So for weeks, Matt and I have been scheming and plotting, trying to arrange details to ensure that John and Nancy would be as free as possible while David and Steffi were in town. Matt was going to pick David and Steffi up at the airport Wednesday afternoon and bring them to our house, and we wanted John and Nancy to come over that evening for the big surprise. It was no small feat. But, I took my task to heart and spun a delightful web of lies…and it worked beautifully!
In case you don’t know, my in-laws are incredibly kind and self-less folks who are always eager to come up and watch the kids for us. However, this is one of the busiest times of the year for John, a professor at Rice, as he has dozens of lengthy papers to read and grade on a very strict schedule. Nancy has also been furiously working to get things ready for Christmas. They are both so busy, busy, busy. It literally pained me to ask them if they could set aside all of their own important activities and make the 35 mile drive through Houston rush-hour traffic up to our house on Wednesday night so that they could watch the kids while Matt and I went out for a nice dinner. Sheesh. Talk about obnoxious! But, of course, they said they would be happy to. Bless them.
As soon as they pulled up, we shoo-ed David and Steffi into our bedroom to hide. Following my cleverly crafted plan, (hear my own horn toot-tooting?) I casually greeted John and Nancy at the door and ushered them inside. I suggested that, since I had my camera handy, we take a quick picture of them with the grandkids. I strategically posed them with their backs to the bedroom door, slyly switched my camera to video mode, and, while trying to contain my incredibly giddiness, began the “say cheese” countdown.
Shocked is not the appropriate word. I’ll go with dumbfounded. :) My favorite is John’s “What? Hee. What? Heehee…what?” (and confused Parker is asking “What? No seriously, what??”) And Nancy’s complete slack-jaw…classic. Fantastic execution, Team Surprise! I am SO enjoying our visit together. There really is nothing like family being together for Christmas.
On a Cold Winter Afternoon…
December 15, 2008
This is how we entertain ourselves. Thank goodness Parker amuses so easily.
Peace, Love…
December 6, 2008
Yesterday afternoon, Matt, Parker, and I were headed to lunch. As we turned onto the feeder road, the car that had been behind us suddenly sped up and veered around my car on the left side (where there was NOT another lane) and started swerving threateningly, and quite intentionally, toward us. It went on for several hundred yards. I slowed down, he slowed down. I sped up, he was right on me. The whole time, literally inches from us, jerking his car so close to mine that I was bracing for an impact. I was completely flustered and scared and couldn’t imagine what this guy was thinking…but then I saw his bumper sticker. And then I saw him high-five the two children that were in the car with him. And I just knew.
As we reached the intersection to u-turn, the man rolled down his window and sneered at us.
“Communists! I hate freaking COMMUNISTS! You are a communist and you make me SICK!”
It was because of my Obama sticker. The small adhesive piece of plastic slapped to my back window that simply states, “Peace, Love, Obama”.
Thankfully, we were able to get away from his nastiness when we turned. I was shocked. Appalled. Hurt. And OH so ANGRY. We had been violently threatened…and of course poor Parker immediately started asking questions.
“Mommy, why was that man driving so fast by us? Why was he talking so mad? Why was he yelling at you? What did you do, Mommy? Is he going to come back?”
How do you explain that knd of asshole behavior to a 4-year-old?? He was scared and worried and wanted answers and I just didn’t have the words…
I still don’t. 
Video Vault
December 4, 2008
June 14, 2007
One of my all-time favorites.
Pearl and Arne had chewed up a little stuffed animal and left the little plastic eyeball in the middle of the rug. Parker found it, and was convinced that it came from one of the dogs…
Booty Control
December 1, 2008
Oh my.
I’m still giggling after this one.
Parker wanted to play a bit of Wii when he got home from school today. Bailey and I sat on the couch and started to play the always-endearing-and-never-annoying game of nurse/squirm/nurse/climb/nurse/pinch/repeat on the couch and Parker took to whacking away at virtual baseballs with great glee.
Suddenly, I hear the Wii remote clatter to the ground and watch as Parker quite literally flattens himself, face-down, on the floor.
“Parker, what on earth are you doing?”
Silence. And then -
“Mommy, I have to go to the potty. I am waiting for my booty to calm down so I won’t go poo-poo in my pants.”
And with that, he calmly took a couple of deep breaths, picked himself up off the floor, scampered into the bathroom, and made the anticipated deposit in the appropriate place. Underwear pristine. Booty controlled.
And Mommy bewildered.
